Faith,Fasting & Feminism

Been reflecting on two aspects of faith that have been giving me cause for concern this week for very different reasons.
The first was the discussion at Ss Peter & Paul's PCC meeting at which decisions were neede with respect to the current resolutions - prior to the meeting A,B & C were in place. After much discussion, thought and prayer the overall result was to rescind A & C but to keep B. Although most (but not all) were personally in favour of rescinding all three the view was that for many of the remaining congregation a female incumbent at this stage would be just too much change after a time of great turmoil and for many much personal heartache.
So in any many ways a significant step forward and much joy now we are back under the episcopal care of the Bishop of Chelmsford particulary with the forthcoming confirmation service.
I long for the day when a woman celebrates at the altar at Hockley - I am obviously convinced that it is right and proper and that in no way will be in detract from the underlying catholic tradition although I know many of my fellow parishioners still can't quite get their hands round the concept of retaining cathoicism and accepting the priesthood of women. I feel so strongly about this in my soul and truly believe that this is God's call to me - He led me to Hockley for a reason and I pray that by listening to Him and through the power of the Holy Spirit I can play some small part in rebuilding this place of prayer and faith.
And what of my own unfailing catholic tradition? I felt truly tested last night when faced with the dilemma of breaking my Eucharistic fast in order to eat with my college colleagues. I so don't want to come across as some kind of pious freak ( is that too strong a word!) and I know within my heart that God would understand if I and eaten but I just couldn't do it and I am glad I didn't. Of course God wouldn't have struck me down for breaking my fast but for me that moment of meeting with Him at the Holy table would have been weakened when I felt in great need of His presence.
What my fellow Ordinands truly thought I don't know but I felt supported in my decision by all those of whom were aware of it and maybe it has been a point of reflection for them as well in terms of that "generous orthodoxy" that exists between us. I remain steadfast in my practice and even more aware of God walking this road with me.