Loving the learning worrying about the worship

First residential weekend done and a mixed bag of emotions as a result. Absolutely love the academic stuff - get a real thrill from being taught by such amazing theologians ( yes I know need to get over my Jane Williams obsession!) but finding the worship more of a challenge.
I don't know why arms in the air make me uncomfortable but they do. I actually quite like the worship songs once I get the hang of them and even find myself moving in time to the music (steady on there!) but I can't quite seem to get into the extempore nature and really let myself go. I am unable to pray out loud even when I feel I have something I want to pray for and as for the whole hugging at The Peace - too far! OK it was very cold in the chapel and a bit of shared body heat goes a long way but I felt forced into a situation I wasn't completely comfortable with but went along with cos I didn't want to appear stand offish.
Then I start worrying about the authenticity of my vocation - if I can't move with the times then what sort of priest can I be in a contemporary expression of Church?
Is the catholic tradition to which I am committed where it's at today or is it redundant other than on All Soul's Day and when people want a good old fashioned worship experience to remind them of things past.Are we catholics just a relic of the past? I firmly believe not.The Catholic tradition has much to offer today's church and society. To be catholic is not to deny evangelism and is a force for social change.
And I know that because just when I am feeling like my catholicism is a barrier to my vocation what drops into my inbox but information about the Dearmer Society. At last a place to meet others who share my theology. So now I don't feel isolated but empowered.
And I know that while I may feel uncomfortable with arms raised my charismatic colleagues no doubt feel equally uncomfortable with genuflection and other expressions of catholicism.
I know these challenges will not vanish but I also know I am not alone in my feelings of displacedness and that I am at a place where "generous orthodoxy" is the

On being a stranger

Was somewhat disappointed by lack of welcome at St. Mary's Church in Melton Mowbray when I attende their 10 am service this morning. We have been visiting friends in the town for the weekend and having dropped by the church yesterday felt encouraged to go along today. Couldn't fault the lady who was "on duty" yesterday as she piled me with lots of info about the church including a free copy of the Parish magazine.
Not so impressive today when despite clearly being new in town and alone not one person spoke to me before or after the service save for the Reader & Curate doing the obligatory thank you for coming on exit.
This made me think about how best we can welcome newcomers in to church. I know that for some people the opportunity for an hour's peace means they don't want be disturbed but surely the first time we see a stranger enter church we should at least enquire after them. If it is clear they wish to be left alone that is fine but maybe part of their motivation fro coming along is to feel that they belong, that they are part of a community? If we ignore them how can we ever hope to meet their needs?
My need ths morning was simply to feel close to God and to meet him through the Eucharist and as far that objective was concerned St Mary's succeeded. A beautiful church and an excellent sermon both helped fulfil that desire for spiritual sustenance. But had I been looking for fellowship and friendship I would have been left disappointed - which I find sad and disappointing.
I hope that anyone who comes along to Ss Peter & Paul's never leaves feeling like that. And I hope that the lesson I learned this morning about the importance of warmth and welcome helps me as I journey along my path in ministry